Some women enjoy weeding their flower beds and poking around in their vegetable gardens. I prefer digging for treasure. I reap more reward from pulling a two-hundred-year-old coin from the ground than I do a carrot. Don’t get me wrong, carrots are tasty and all… but can you display them in a shadow box and brag to all your facebook friends? Well… I guess that depends on your facebook friends. If I started posting carrots in the metal detecting groups, I might lose a few of those friends.
I guess through writing my blog and sharing my perspective, I’ve sort of been launched into the spotlight. I’ve met a few hobbyists who act like finding a woman digger is rare, but I have met SO many fascinating women since I joined the hobby–all who would rather be digging history than carrots. I think its safe to assume that the hobby that once belonged to middle-aged men combing the beach is evolving, becoming more accepting of women–women who sometimes discover more kick-ass relics than the men. (Thank-you very much.)
Being a woman digger, however, does come with disadvantages. I know I’ve covered those disadvantages before, but I’ve come to realize that my post–DIGGING: A “MAN’S HOBBY”–may have just scratched the surface of the issue–an issue which I am coming to recognize for myself.
Allow me to elaborate… 
This weekend, I celebrated my son turning four. We threw him an epic batman bash–complete with a life-size inflatable batman. (Here he is pictured with Batman.) Even though they both look quite serious, I think–with utmost certainty–that fun was had by all. Heck, even life-size inflatable batman had a great time until his head fell off and was accidentally re-fastened to his rear-end instead of his torso.
Now I may have been a bit overly selective with the invite list–leaving off some… okay, ALL the in-laws. (Whoops.) I did, however, invite one of my detecting partners and his family. Our kids get along–meaning that my son relentlessly chases his daughter in an attempt to woo her. So… Ashton was thrilled to have the kids at his party, but I was thrilled to have my detecting partner and his wife at the party.
A month ago, I posed a question to a group of women diggers: “What is the hardest part about being a woman in the metal detecting hobby?” A handful of those who responded agreed that there was a sense of distrust and jealousy from significant others–in both the case of their detecting partner and/or their significant other. I regurgitated that information in my post, but I had yet to personally experience the issue until now. Let me tell you, it sucks.
Sure, in the past, my husband has expressed some concern about my involvement with all these other men–and by involvement, I mean strictly metal detecting. I guess if the roles were reversed and he was meeting up with other women, I would feel that same jealousy. I do always invite my husband along on my detecting adventures with all those other men in an attempt to put his mind at ease. He rarely joins, but I always extend the invite–to the point where the invitation is just implied. I have nothing to hide and I would actually cherish the opportunity to have him involved with the hobby.
About thirty minutes before the party, my detecting partner contacted me. His wife had fashioned this absurd idea that I was her husband’s mistress. At first, I was a little offended. Then, I took a step back and tried to see her point of view. In the end, I don’t blame her. I understand her concern. She doesn’t know me. She doesn’t read my blog or follow me on Facebook. Like I said, I would feel the same way about my husband meeting up with another woman.
However… despite being able to see her point of view, I was a little hurt. I hoped that through introducing her to my husband and my family, I could put her mind at ease. I could talk detecting with my partner. She could commiserate with my husband. Ashton could chase his daughter around. Everything would have been magical.
I guess the bottom line is… I get it. I need to be more sensitive to the way my husband feels when his wife is meeting up with other men. I also have to be more sensitive to the significant others of those other men–even when its just metal detecting. My intention has never been to offend anyone, but I’m realizing that this is just another hazard that comes with being a woman in the hobby–a hazard I’m hoping to dispel.
HH!